Greetings from Duchy Home Farm! Life here is never dull as you can imagine. The other day one of the rare -breed pigs , a Peruvian Dreadlock sow started to devour her 3 day-old piglets.
I rushed over and tried to stick a fence post between her teeth to stop her munching her tiny offspring. As I wrestled with the beast , a visitor wandered over to watch. I glanced up to see a tall figure in a barbour jacket observing me.....The Prince ! I wasted no time in asking for his help." Your Highness " I gasped ,still wrestling with the huge Sow " could you answer the question everyone wants to ask?" He looked at me wearily..." well, I suppose er.. ask away."
" Sir, is it true that your favourite pop artist is the hysterical dwarf from Minneapolis who shares your title , Prince?" His royal eyes lit up. "You know Iwas a big fan until he produced a movie , Purple Rain, and this ,I thought, was a poorly produced load of bunk. " I pulled a half eaten piglet out of the sows jaws and smiled at him." Nice looking pigs these, no mothering instinct unfortunately....."